


How Santa Claus Killed Hitler!

by MrToddWilkins



Category: Original Work
Genre: Deliberate Badfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:01:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27106894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrToddWilkins/pseuds/MrToddWilkins
Summary: Santa has had it with Hitler.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	How Santa Claus Killed Hitler!

On December 23 1944, St Nick surveyed the world with his all-penetrating radar satellite located 22000 miles over the North Pole. His gaze fell on the Fuhrerbunker in the city of Berlin. There Adolf Hitler plotted and planned,having dismissed his generals for the holiday.

”Once this battle is won, I will regain Burgundy and drive on to Paris! Then shall we invade England and Russia and bring this war to an end! The Reich forever!”

Santa was incensed like balls. How dare this little man plan such conquest and death! He had to do something about it. He summoned his reindeer and flew south.

Berlin approached beneath him at midnight of the 24th. Santa flew down the Brandenburg Corridor and down the streets and alleys to the bunker. Disguising himself as a beggar,he entered the bunker. The air was cold and chilled. Aides stood at tables,reading dispatches from the fronts. Santa came at last to Hitler’s chamber.

”Who are you?”

”Kristoforas Kringle. A common man who seeks audience with the Fuhrer.”

An inebriated Hitler told Santa about his plan to dominate “first Europe,then the world”. He planned to build up the world and then expand into space. “By 2033 the Nazi Empire of the All-Reich will dominate all the universe”.

Santa revealed himself and used his ice dagger Kerraxta to stab Hitler. “I sentence you to Cocytus’ Pit for eternity.” Then Hitler died and Santa threw his corpse to the center of the Earth,wherein lay said pit.

**EPILOGUE**

On December 28 1944 the remaining Nazi High Command surrendered to a joint US-UK-USSR-French detachment at Rotterdam. The war in Europe was over.

Japan capitulated on 15 March 1945 after a coup led by the antiwar party.


End file.
